It's been four years since I graduated from college. Like my batch mates, I was one of the lucky ones to graduate with the Centennial batch of U.P.-- celebrating 100 years of excellence, passion, and an unquenchable thirst for change. When I graduated, things weren't the best of times for the country. The U.S. recession was ongoing and there were limited opportunities other than the then-booming BPO industry. It was a challenging time.
After graduation, I took a plunge into an early quarter-life crisis. I felt like the degree wasn't enough to get me where I wanted (as what most of us aspire for when we enter the University). I went back to my hometown and impatiently waited for my ticket out of town. I badly wanted to move back to Manila-- to relive the glory days and make my mark in the bustling metro where dreams are made a reality.
I waited for years. The ticket did not come. I became more depressed. But something had to be done. I spent my time gingerly trying to put my Speech Communication education to good use. I taught Literature, Public Speaking, and Theater at my high school Alma matter.
For the longest time, I missed being in U.P. I missed being a part of something big-- a cause greater than one's own. I spent most days thinking of the life that could have been. I would daydream non-stop about what my life could have been had I started working in the metro. I could have had the time of my life with my old college mates (getting smashed during weekends and going on never-ending beach trips). I could even have saved some severed ties because of the distance.
There have been days when I would sulk and curse the world for my misfortunes. But my mom slapped me back to reality with a challenge: would you rather be a small fish in a big pond or a big fish in a small pond?
That time, I knew that I had to start small before I venture off somewhere bigger. As Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother, always says, "Challenge Accepted!"
Little had I known that while my kids were learning communication theories and writing their own socio-political essays, I was also learning how to ride with the tide.
Then an amazing thing happened. I found a window of opportunity that catapulted me back to where I wanted to be-- right smack in the heart of the dirty metro. At first I was thinking that the major roadblock to achieving your dreams would be finances-- but it isn't. The major roadblock is yourself. That, and your state of mind.
I never thought I'd be back here in Manila-- making scribbles materialize into great achievements. It's been a good run albeit the hurdles along the road. However I find myself in another pickle. I'm about to move forward again. I'm about to push my luck elsewhere to see how big a fish I can be outside the metro.
This morning, I chanced upon Lourd de Veyra's graduation speech for the 2012 U.P. Mass Communications Commencement Exercises. I've been a huge fan of Lourd ever since his Radioactive Sago Project days up til his documentary days. That guy knows how to make a subtle statement. Everything he said in his speech knocked me off my seat. This might be the answer to my prayers for guidance.
My favorite parts are found below:
Tumigil na akong maniwala sa pagpaplano ng buhay.Corny mang pakinggan, mas naniniwala ako sa tadhana. Kung totoo na talino at galing ang sekreto sa tagumpay, dapat wala ako dito ngayon. Hindi ako ang pinakamahusay na manunulat sa aming kolehiyo. At higit na mas marami ang mas magaling mag-isip kesa sa akin.
May paborito akong kasabihan mula sa idolo kong nobelistang si Kurt Vonnegut. “Unannounced changes in life’s itinerary are like dancing lessons from God.” Napakagandang ideya. Napaka-akmang metapora. Dancing lesson.
Sa dancing lesson, wala kang ibang pwedeng gawin kundi sumunod. Pag hinila ka dito, sunod ka na lang. Pag binaba ka, bumaba ka rin. Pag hinagis ka, magpagaan ka ng katawan.
Susugan din ito ng isa pang quote mula kay Voltaire: “I refuse to believe in a God who does not know how to dance.” Ang pagsayaw ay isang ekspresyon ng ligaya, ng laro, ng kalayaan ng katawan at diwa na mayroon pa ring sistema. Pero ako mismo ay literal na hindi marunong sumayaw.
Wag seryosohin ang sarili. Pero teka, kelangang klarohin ko ito. Okay lang ang serious, huwag lang solemn. Walang bagay sa mundo ang hindi napapagaan ng pagkakaroon ng sense of humor.
At pinakahuli sa lahat, matutong magtimpla ng kape. At hindi lang basta kape—dapat ito ang pinakamasarap na kape sa buong mundo. Hindi na siguro uso ngayon ang uutusan kang magtimpla ng kape ng boss mo pag ikaw ay nagsisimula pa lang.
At sigurado akong may teacher kayong nagpayo sa inyo na huwag na huwag kayong papayag na patimplahin kayo ng kape ng boss ninyo. May punto naman sila. Pero parang Karate Kid lang yan eh.
Galit na galit at takang-taka ang batang disipulong si Ralph Macchio: “Nagte-training ako ng karate, di ba? Bakit inuutusan ako ng matandang guro na maglinis ng kotse niya? Bakit niya ako inuutusang magpintura ng bakod ng bahay niya?” Sa huli, naintindihan niya rin kung bakit. Wax on. Wax off. At kung ikaw ay fan ng mga kung fu movies, ang ganitong tila-mababang pagsasanay ay pangkaraniwang arketipo. Paano ka pagtitiwalaan ng mas malaking responsibilad kung ang isang maliit na gawain ay di mo magawa nang maayos?
Okey, ituring lang na simbolo ang pagtitimpla ng kape. Kung hindi kape, malamang pabibilhin ka ng blank DVD, o may ipapahatid sa iyong papeles o P2 card.
Kung ayaw mo namang magka-boss, aba…. Madali lang yan. Andiyan naman ang You Tube. Libre naman ang magbukas ng blog (Aba, maraming kumikita diyan; lalo na pag tungkol sa pagkain— kahit hindi ka marunong magsulat).
Basta, keep it real, ika nga ng kasabihan. Minsan sa makabagong mundo, sa virtual na realidad, minsan nakakalimutan natin kung saan tayo nakatungtong, kung saan tayo kumikilos.
Bilang pangtapos, gusto kong basahin ang isang tula ni Jose F. Lacaba.
NAKATINGIN SA BITUIN
Di naman panay dilim
ang gabing walang buwan
pagkat maraming bituin
akong nakita noon,
paglakad sa lansangan
nakatingin sa bituin.
Mga hiyas sa langit
(‘ka nga) nagkikislapan,
wala ni isang pangit,
wala akong makita
paglakad sa lansangan
nakatingin sa bituin.
Di ko tuloy napansin
ang dinadaanan,
kalsadang walang ningning,
pagkat talagang abala
paglakad sa lansangan
nakatingin sa bituin.
Nasalpok ko tuloy,
nasalpok sa isang paa,
ang isang tambak ng
taeng kalabaw sa daan:
paglakad sa lansangan
nakatingin sa bituin.
Santambak na kumalat
Sa kalsada’t paa ko,
Paalala ng lupa
Na paa’y nakatapak,
Paglakad sa lansangan
Nakatingin sa bituin
Sa Batch 2012, congratulations at good luck, at sana ay huwag kayong makaapak ng tae ng kalabaw sa landas niyong tatahakin. Kung sakali man, sumayaw ka na lang.
That being said, it seems like I need to get used to dancing until I become a bigger fish. Mabuhay ang mga iskolar ng bayan!
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