Butterflies

It was 2006. Some of my high school friends and I were at Sunrise Homes in Katipunan, crowding over a desktop computer-- "stalking" Friendster updates from CDO. We clicked Monic's profile, checking what her plans were for her birthday on Tuesday. It was March 12, 2006. Two days before her birthday.

After an hour of online nonsense and chips, I received a call from my best friend Hannah. "Boo, something happened to Mon and Tito Bong. They were rushed to the ER. Nanay called me up. I'll call you back for details". 

My heart sank. Monic was one of our dearest high school kabarkadas. She has been my next door neighbor for more than 5 years. We went to school together. Talked on the phone almost everyday even after high school. She was one of the happiest people I knew. Her smile was infectious and her love for life and the little wonders of the world always made a huge impact on everyone she met. She was generous and thoughtful. We both shared the love for arts, crafts, and knick-knacks. She always knew what to tell you in times of trouble or loneliness. She always had time for other people. 

A couple of months prior to that day, my dad sold Tito Bong one of our company motorcycles. I was thinking that it must've been a motorcycle-related accident. My heart was beating uncontrollably. I had to know what was going on.

Nerves set in and I was pacing the room back and forth, waiting for Hannah to call back. "I hope she didn't break any bones. It would be a shame for her to be injured on her birthday". I tried to calm myself down--- until I received another call. No one was speaking on the other end. I could just hear sobs. "Hello? boo?" I called out to Hannah, blood rushing from my cheeks. "Boo, wala na. Wala na siya. (Boo she's gone. She's gone)". Hysteria. Panic. Hyperventilation. I couldn't understand the other things that she was saying. Hannah passed on the phone to someone else, I could only make out sobs and wailing. They were all at the hospital. Instinctively, I called my mom right away and the only thing I mustered to say in that moment of shock and confusion was "Si Mon, si Mon. Wala na siya. Wala na siya. Na-aksidente daw sila ni Tito Bong. Call Hannah. Call Hannah". And then I lost it.

I didn't know what else to do/think/say/feel. I just cried uncontrollably. I couldn't understand what was going on. I didn't even bother to know what happened. My heart was ripped out of my chest. My world just crumbled. It was the first time that I ever lost a friend-- one of my best friends. We grew up together. We've been partners in everything! We spent days daydreaming about college-- about conquering New York as a group, projecting ourselves living the life of the "Sex & The City" girls-- being fabulous, and being successful together. It was only days ago that the girls told me that they were preparing a surprise birthday for her since she wasn't able to have a big 18th birthday party. It was her mom and dad's surprise for her, having worked in the States for so long. It was only hours when I talked to her about her recently concluded big event at school. It was too much. It was too soon.

Mon and her family were victims of a fatal robbery. They owned a newly-opened lottery outlet near her maternal grandparents' house in Lapasan. The gunman went for her father who was outside their shop, shooting his neck. Mon ran after hear dad when she heard the gunshot and the gunman did not spare her. He shot her while she was pleading for mercy. The bullet shot straight to her heart. Seconds after the shooting, the gunman went inside the lottery outlet, robbed them clean and even attempted to shoot her mom and brother who were inside. When the gun didn't fire, he ran away.

Even to this day, one cannot imagine how a kind and down-to-earth family can be a victim of such a hateful crime. It is still hard to fathom how a happy family was destroyed just because of someone else's greed. Of all the people in the world, why them? Why Mon? 

Two years after the tragedy, her dad passed away-- saving him from his struggle of being paralyzed from the neck down and having various complications.

It was tough dealing with the loss of a friend. It was a living nightmare for all of us. There were years when we spent nights crying together during the sem break, grieving together. Our world became smaller and smaller. The streets became scarier. Life became scarier. We spent years feeling like a part of us was missing.

Six years later, the emptiness we felt has been filled with wonderful new memories and new additions to our barkada. There are days when I still dream about her, when I remember that sweet smile of hers. Today I remember the pain but celebrate the wonderful years that I was able to spend with her.

Like the butterflies that she loved the most, we've set her free to soar and spread her wings to a better place. 

I love you Mon. Always and forever.

Panglao, Bohol (2004)