Sink or Swim

The Story Board

Do you know that part of any story when the protagonist feels like things are going smoothly and then something tragic happens that turns things around? For example: After a huge struggle with being plucked out of his home and away from his dad, Nemo triumphantly gets out of the fish tank--- but still finds himself lost in the deep blue sea.

Taking a few steps back to our high school literature classes, let us recall the basic elements of a story:

1) Setting- The place in which a story is set.
2) The Character(s) - The individual/s that are part of the story.
3.) Plot- The sequence of events that happen in a story.

As the story unfolds the plot develops and gets more colorful because of:

•  Conflict- The main problem in the story. This could be a quarrel or battle. It could be some inner struggle within the person himself. Or even barriers that have to be overcome in order to obtain some goal.

Just so we're on the same page, today's focus will be on THIS story. Our setting is here and now. Character(s) of the story would include me and everyone who is responsible for helping/keeping me from achieving the plot of this story which is-- to make my own Happiness Project successful. Now we move deeper into the plot and I shall introduce to you my Conflict. That's exactly where my story is. That's exactly where Nemo was-- facing ANOTHER struggle after overcoming his previous one. 

SINKing Slowly

It began with a leak in our sink the other day. (Yes, this is literally about the sink)I was on my way to work on a Saturday and Mr. P was scheduled to have our sink checked by the plumber. My sister and I have been so busy the past weeks, we failed to have the leaked fixed right away. About to head to the shower, I noticed that a colony of ants were invading my counter! Oh the horror! There were so many of them, I had goose bumps all over trying to squirt them away with insect repellent. In the middle of the commotion, Mr. P arrived and saw the mess: a puddle of brownish sink water on my floor and a swarm of ants on my counter. In a flash he picked up a rag and mopped up the chaos. We had a spat while he was at it-- arguing about the upkeep of fixtures in our house and my cleaning schedules, etc.

I mentioned previously that Mr. P and I are like fire and ice at times-- one being the extreme opposite of the other. We bicker about our different ideologies and methods as much as we praise and thank each other for unconditional love. It was then that Pandora's box was opened and all hell broke loose. I was upset, seriously upset that I caused him distress and inconvenienced him for asking him to help me with the sink. I felt like I was in high school again-- unable to control my temper and being bratty about my own mistakes. He had his own views about things and I had mine. I won't get into the details of what were said that day, but in a nutshell-- it was a domestic dispute.

In the "Happiness Project", Gretchen Rubin mentioned that one step to be happy is to pay attention to long overdue tasks. For me, it was cleaning my house. I spent the whole afternoon cleaning and clearing things in my house, eager to prove that I was capable of taking care of my own concerns and making sure that everything was done right. I spent 6 hours scrubbing, disinfecting, throwing out unnecessary articles, and sweating my ass off. I knew I was wrong to be so upset by such petty disputes, but cleaning seemed like the best release at that moment. For every nook and cranny that I reached, I felt like I was a step away from proving that I could do things on my own-- at my own time and pace. I felt like I could prove to myself that I owned that space and that I knew best how to address it. After all, it was MY home and it was my choice how to fix it. 

When I was done, my sister arrived and I just cried my eyes out in front of her. I told her what happened to me that day and I discovered that my only issue wasn't the sink-- there were so many things that I was upset about that just ballooned and burst at the same time my pipes gave up on me. I was scared about moving to a new place in search of a better future. I was worried about not being able to save enough for my trip and to keep our house. I was heartbroken that a family member is facing another difficulty. These are issues that have been swirling inside me-- and I haven't been able to properly acknowledge my being hurt and scared because I have been too busy pushing myself to be positive and trying to remain in a calm disposition-- as what is ideally the point of being happy.

My sister reminded me that being happy is not all about feeling good. It is also about feeling good, feeling bad, and feeling right. I love how my sister is able to keep my chin up. It's embarrassing how older I am in age, but I feel like my sister (who is years younger) is more mature in nature.  She has always been my guru. In that moment, she allowed me to feel. She allowed me to acknowledge my weakness and realize that all the negativity should be channeled into something positive. I was happy to hear it from her that she was proud that my outlook has changed drastically compared to my pessimistic state not-so-long-ago. She reminded me that God does not give challenges to people who cannot overcome it.

Yes, being sad or mad or frustrated is part of the process.

I felt like I was 10 lbs heavier after that talk. My eyes were as puffy as marshmallows and my nose was as red sa Rudolf's but that didn't matter. I'm just glad I had the chance to let it all out.

Mingling & Margaritas

That night, Mr. P and I kissed and made up. (Hohoho) We had a night out with my high school friends and it was so much fun. My friend S excitedly reported that she was starting on her own happiness project and she showed me a list of things she'd like to do before she got married this year. Like me, she has been dying to have a change of perspective. I even egged her to read my blog for an added push. I'm glad that she's well on her way to achieving what she has set out to do. It began with a drastic haircut and the perseverance to watch Katy Perry in concert! Haha.

That night we also got reunited with an old classmate who now spins in a hip haunt in Ortigas. He filled us in on details about his own trials and triumphs the past years here in the metro-- about finding his own means to survive and prove to his parents that he was capable of making it big on his own. He was a beacon of hope to me. His positivism and drive were so inspiring-- I got more excited about living my dreams and taking more risks. 

Because of them, I am remined I'm on the right track. Margarita nights have never been this enlightening.

The Adventure Continues

This weekend has definitely been a learning experience. Quoting my favorite Broadway musical Fantasticks, the character El Gallo sings "without the hurt, the heart is hollow".

The important lesson that I learned from all these is that when we fall, we just have to dust off the debris, and pick up where we left off.

The happiness project continues.